Raise up a Pimms, because this may be the most quintessentially British story of 2016.
Apparently, there was hassle in the castle over the weekend – like a scene from Kill Bill.
Party professional attendee James Blunt asked Princess Beatrice to fake-knight him with an authentic ceremonial sword. She obliged, and when she lifted the sword to place it on his shoulder, she accidentally swung the sword back so forcefully that the blade sliced through Ed Sheeran's cheek.
The cut was severe enough to warrant medical attention, and Sheeran was treated at a nearby hospital before later returning to the party. Hero.
Adele is reportedly considering teaching "a few classes" at the prestigious BRIT School in London – where she was once a student - when she has recovered from her current tour.
I hear they do a good maternity leave package there.
Robbie Williams gives his Brit awards away accidentally sometimes. In fairness, he has plenty to spare – he’s got 17 of them.
And when asked about his trophies, Williams told Radio Times magazine that Wayne Rooney also has one.
He said: "I was stoned and Wayne got injured in a match, and I shouted to my manager (in a slurred voice): 'Michael, will you send a Brit to Wayne Rooney... Tell him to get better from me...'
Morto for Eamonn Holmes. He was on the beach and ran up behind his wife Ruth to “ping” her bikini strap – only to realise it wasn’t Ruth but a stranger. Everyone in the situation was suitably mortified.
