The End Of The Affair

Since the email details of hundreds of thousands of users of the Ashley Madison site were dumped online on Tuesday, a number of sites – Trustify is one - allow you to check whether particular addresses were used. In theory, therefore, somebody who suspected that a spouse or partner was using the site could easily find out of their email address was used. But should they? • “It doesn’t really make any difference what advice you give in a situation like that”, says psychotherapist Allison Keating. “If people suspect their partner of something, they won’t be able to resist the pull to do it. The thing is: our suspicions are often correct. We all know our partners very well, and if we see a sudden change of behaviour, the laptop being closed when we walk in the room etc, it’s likely that our suspicions are justified. • “One thing that did strike me reading this story over the last few weeks is the effect that technology is having on our relationships. It allows us to go the whole way infidelity wise on sites like Ashley Madison; but it also facilitates the kind of flirting on social media which I would argue constitutes infidelity as well, because there is a certain emotional intimacy involved which your partner would be very hurt by if she or he found out. • “I would say to any couple embarking on a relationship now – work out what your boundaries are in relation to the use of the internet".