The Most Scathing Irish Insults

He had a nose that could smell around corners...I'd rather be up on a murder charge...you have a head like a melted welly.

Confused? Confused like a cow on an astroturf pitch? Pull up a pew and I'll explain.

This morning, I was looking for your best insults EVER - and they flew in, thick and fast...and aimed and moi. You wouldn't want to be too sensitive!

Turns out being really acidic is something the listeners of the Early Breakfast are really, really good at.

Have a look below and feel free to add to the mix of venom:

• "The tide wouldn't take you out Paula"
• "Morning Paula. You’re so useless that if there was work in the bed you’d sleep on the floor" - Baz Longford

• "Heya PMac – you’re living proof that Snow White had a baby with Dopey!" - J Tom

.@sweetpmac Ur nickname should be DAZ, u shift all kinds of dirt #PutDown 😂

— Joe O'Neill (@stratfordno1) April 18, 2017

• "Paula, you have a face like a bee-keepers apprentice." - Pat from Mayo!

• "Paula, you have a face like a welders bench"

@sweetpmac Jesus Paula, a sniper wouldn't take you out.😂😂😂😂

— David Bailey (@Davebailey1980) April 18, 2017

• "Paula sure God help you but you have a set of teeth on ya that you could eat an apple through a letterbox!"  - From Jayo

• "Paula it looks like yer face went on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a flip flop..." - Ray from Tramore

• "I'd rather be up on a murder charge!"

@sweetpmac #favouriteputdown.

Do you realise your presence here is depriving a village of its idiot

— Ian Murphy (@IanMurphy111) April 18, 2017

• "You'd make a fortune haunting houses." -  Keith in a taxi.

• "You’re not pretty enough to be this stupid..." - Mick in kk

• "Paula, never trust someone who can look through a keyhole with both eyes at the same time!!" - Mike

• "A bear wouldn't give you a hug'!" - Owen

@sweetpmac Paula if brains were made from chocolate you would not fill a smartie 😜

— Derek Grimes (@FrGrimes) April 18, 2017

• "Ya wouldn't get a date on a calendar"

• "Paula, my put down is; if my dog had a face like that I'd shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards!" - Andy Boyle

• "Paula. .you would  give  a Panadol a headache"

• "You wouldn’t get a kick in a stampede." - Martin on the train

• "Morning Paula. How about – you’re so ugly a sniper wouldn't take you out." - Mike in Limerick

@sweetpmac Paula your so tight you could peel an orange in your pocket.I'm only messin.

— David Brennan (@BallyfermotDave) April 18, 2017

• "Hey Paula,my put down is: 'She has a face that would turn a funeral up a side street!” - John.G

• "Good morning Paula, my favourite put down; if he had another brain cell he'd be twice as thick!!!" - Jaime in Mayo.

• "She looked as confused as cow on an astroturf pitch."

@sweetpmac hey Paula,my fav putdowns are if brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose!

— Nick madden (@cowboybob82) April 18, 2017

• "Ya wouldn't ride him/her into battle"

If you have any - let us know!