"Paula, long time no speak, but I couldn't resist the Royal wedding story! Now we know why Prince Philip has been retired from public appearances because rumour has it that when he met Megan's mum, he turned to Harry and said "oh! she has brought her help with her!!??" Rory from Donegal
Now, Prince Philip is known for his clangers, and he can’t even blame it on age – he’s been putting his royal foot in it since the 60s, as far as the internet says. However, he seems to be worse, the older he gets.
“Paula, Prince Phillip while on a state visit to China said, If it has 4 legs and it's not a chair, the Chinese will eat it. Legend!” - Ollie from Wexford.
On a state visit!
And he’s not the only one. The older you get, the less you care about hurt feelings, apparently! Have a look at these:
- “Paula, my nan and grandad had been married for 60 years, so I asked her what was the secret to a long happy marriage of 60 years. Her response? I couldn't tell you, I've been pissed off for 59 of them! I could not contain myself!”
- “Hi Paula, when my now-wife and I told my dad we were getting married, dad in his wisdom old us; sure the only thing new to ye will be the wedding cake!” - Des on the way to Cork
- “Paula, I work in customer service. I was on the phone with a 74 year old costumer. I said Ok, I sent you the email and you can make the payment any time over the next week. He responds, quick as a whip, Well, I'm headed out to meet a lady for dinner in a few minutes. So, if you're lucky, I'll make the payment tonight. But if I'm lucky, I won't be home until the morning!"
- “Paula my 75 year old motherputs the word "the" in front of any social media websites. The Google isn't working today or I signed up for the Facebook but I don't like it!”
- “My ex's grandma, told him, knowing we had been dating for over a year, to not settle down and go sow his oats. Ouch!”
“Paula, my mam was taking care of my grandmother whose health was declining. My granny was very religious and the family was very adamant about keeping the fact my brother was gay from her.
Anyway, granny asks, how’s Sean. Does he have a girlfriend yet?
Mam: No, no girlfriend.
Granny: I bet he has a boyfriend. But, shhh, I'm not supposed to know that!”
- “My nanny often refers to her brandy as her bottle of wallop. Always makes me laugh!”
- “Hi Paula. My best friend’s Dad was one of the funniest guys on Earth. When my friend told him he was getting married, he just looked at him and said, well Son you can’t be happy all your life!”
- “Not-very-attractive woman on television. My elderly dad says, she's so ugly the ocean wouldn't wave!”
- “I introduced my grandparents to the music of Daft Punk in my car. Now if I’m ever giving them a lift anywhere, my granddad says Hey, play that Gas Pump!"
- “Hey Paula I got engaged in September and my elderly uncle shook my hand and then said, sorry 4 your troubles! can I have a beanie - I'm foundered with the cold!” - Glenn in the lorry (yes Glenn, you may)
- “Hi Paula, My grandad was very popular with the ladies for years before he got married. If I'm ever out with him and one of his former lady friends comes to say hello, he'll turn to me afterwards and say, She could've been your grandmother. Gets me everytime.” Dave in Longford
- “Paula, a few years back, my grandad met one of our neighbours at my granny’s funeral. She had put on a bit of weight and he said to her face, someone s eaten all the sausages haven’t they!”
- “Paula my mother who is 72 always talks about senile citizens... I used to think she was being funny but I’m starting to question now whether she knows that it’s actually senior citizen!”
- My grandparents when driving always goes as follows. Grandmother: Watch Out! Watch out for that car. Grandfather: That car can watchout for ME!!”
- “Hi Paula, my Dad passed away in November 1998. My friend and his parents attended the funeral. Fast forward to Christmas of the same year – a month later. I called to see my friend on Christmas night. His father greeted me, wished me all the best and then asked how my father was keeping. Clannnngggggger!!! My friend was morto!” - Stephen
- “Hi Paula, my late mother-in-law told me, in sympathy of me being a full time working mother, that she was glad her daughters got to be real mothers!! Niav.......on her way to work!”
- “My mum, while welcoming while welcoming my husband into the family, finished her speech by saying she knew he was the right guy for me as he was such an animal lover. The place cracked up and she had no idea why - she genuinely meant he loves animals!”
