Q - Why do men die younger?
A - Wives nag 'em to death
*Tumbleweed*
This is a joke told by a health worker in the UK in front of 150 health experts. If it wasn't a bad enough joke, he dug himself deeper into the hole by apologising "to all the ladies in the room". Noooo!
He's being called sexist and all-sorts online but honestly, in a world that's gone mad into the aul PC, I'm going to (sort of) stand up for him. His only crime is that the joke was absolutely chronic. Either way, he probably regretted as soon as he said it...and we've all been there.
- “Hi Paula! I went to a wake and met the deceased 's grandson at the door, he asked me how I was and I replied I'm dying, as I was out the night. To say it felt awkward was an understatement. Love the show!” - Ruairi
- “My partner was out sunning herself the other day and when she came in, my daughter said mum your face is red and I said it's as red a baboon’s arse, which was a big mistake.” - Fabian
- “Morning Paula, many moons ago myself and my friends were doing an open day tour of DCU to see who among us wanted to go. We were in the campus accommodation with about 10 others and a tour guide, and we were shown the bathroom and shower to which I said (being 17 and one thing on my mind) how many people would u fit in there?? To which the tour guide said this is the disabled suite. I’m still embarrassed about it and my friends remind regularly!” - Shane in Louth
- “At a wedding once I asked a girl who was drinking a beer, when are you due your baby? She said she had it 3 months ago!! I wanted the ground to swallow me up!! Quickly made an exit, only to be sitting next to her at the meal!” – Clodagh in Cork
- “Hi Paula - one day I asked an older lady I was working with at the time, when she was finishing up. She said, oh I'm not expecting, I just have an enlarged liver. I said oh, is it sore? She said no. I said great and walked off. Epic fail!” – Sue, Dublin
- “Paula I work in a cafe and last week I told a young girl she should ask her granny for something, and pointed at her granny. That’s my mum she said. So embarrassed!”
- “Paula I actually did the pregnant one, to a woman I kinda knew. I asked when she was due and the baby was four months old. I'm lucky she took it with a laugh but I felt so bad. Rule 1, say nothing unless you see a head. Rule 2, if in doubt see rule 1.” - Niall in Tipp
- “I work in the bank and once asked a customer when her baby was due. She wasn’t pregnant! Morto!” - Mary Offaly
- “Morning Sweet P. Soooo excited this morning. Listen every morning but normally can't text as I am driving to work somewhere. I told a joke to a chap I never met before on a job about two men at a bar. One said "my wife is an angel, you’re lucky the other one said mine is still alive!" The chap’s wife had not long passed away. I couldn't even breathe with the mortification!” - Mike in Limerick
- “My niece went with her sister who was going for scan when nurse ask her to get up on bed. The poor nurse died when she was told it was other sis who was expecting!”
- “Paula this happened to a guy I work with. He was at his kid’s soccer training and the coach is a bit of a pain in the you know what. Anyways he sat down on the benches beside a guy he'd seen there a few times, chatting away and the coach starts shouting something at the kids and he turns to your man and goes, god she's hard to listen to, to which he replied, you should try living with her. He didn't know what to say, it was the most awkward thing ever happened to him ever!”
- “Hi Sweet P I was on a stag and we all went into a local bar - all full of chat and mad for another drink. The lads were calling for drinks and I said, lads give the man a chance he only has 1 pair of hands. However, the bar man only actually had 1 hand. I never realised and all d lads looked at me. He didn't hear what I said but I apologised to him anyway. He was cool about it, no problem and still to this day I get a free xmas drink there. Love the show!” - G
- “Hi Paula. I once admired a beautiful girl from a roof a bloke and I were tiling. He turned to me and said, that's my daughter. I nearly fell off.”
- “I was walking behind a mother and son a few years ago when it was the trend to wear your pants half way down your bum. I couldn't take looking at him struggling to even walk and I said out load, pull up your trousers for F sake - to which his mother attacked me. To which I said you had to tattoo his name on your leg just to remember it. I then realised I had gone too far and got the hell out of there!”
- “On holiday once and went out fishing. On the boat were a lot of Chinese people all speaking Chinese. A few days later I met one of the Chinese men on the beach and tried to speak to him using all the hand movements for fishing and asking if he enjoyed it . . . . After 5 mins of him just looking at me, he starts to speak in perfect English and tells me it was brilliant out on the boat and he was going again the next day!” – Dave the Van Man
- “Stood in a queue in a chipper once with a woman in front of me when a man walked in and stood behind me and then starts talking to the woman in front of me and says, you kept that quiet when are you due? She wasn't and there's me stood in between them!” - Dave
- “Hi Sweet P. I told the How do u get a nun pregnant? joke to a group of student nurses one night. I got two severe kicks in the leg under the table. One of them was a nun! I was morto. In my defence she didn't have her habit on. And she laughed!” - Tomas Cork
- “Hi Paula... I work in the transport game. Many years ago I asked a contact in our Northern Ireland depot to check the warehouse for a missing carton When he said he couldn't, I got a bit thick with him on the phone and said, is there something wrong with your legs? He replied yes I'm in a wheelchair...... silence. Needless to say, apologies followed but he got a good laugh out of it!” - Bob Crumlin
