This morning, Kim Buckley brought us audio in the news from Dominic Waghorn, and I nearly fell off my seat from laughing – I have never heard that name before. Waghorn. WAG HORN. WAG.HORN.
Anyway, the listeners of the Early Breakfast tried to out-do Waghorn in the funny name stakes – and succeeded.
Some of these were too risky to read out on air (because they’re so rude but mainly because I was laughing too much) so here they are, in the safe space that is the Early Breakfast Blog.
Hi Paula. I used to work in a call centre and had some great names - Mr Dikshit, Miss Mesipu and a girl with first name Bich - got some looks from my colleagues "that's all sorted Bich". From Isaac in wexford
Paula - one of the lads at home was in college with a Greg Bottomfeeder in Edinburgh. Ronan in Cork
Hi Paula, great show...I moved to Ireland almost five years ago, however when still in South Africa, I worked in Electrical Wholesale. Dealt with a company (two brothers) in Niss Controls...Paul and Alan Niss. Great boys until they one day they handed me a cheque - on the cheque the signatories were P.Niss and A.Niss. I could never see them in the same light again.
Hi Paula my brother went to primary school where two of his classmates were called William Shortess and Dick Long. So when the roll was called out backwards........from Con living in Cork
@sweetpmac my name is bad enough but I worked with a Richard Head. He said "it's Richard, nothing else" 😂
— David (@DaveLJ75) January 18, 2017
Morning Sweetpea my wife's uncle’s name is Richard Mold and we always called him Dick. Kieran from Wexford
I went to college in Cumbria, and there was a guy on my course called John Kitchen and he was from Cockermouth in Cumbria.
From Seamus driving from Killarney to Portadown and back down again this evening.'
Hey Paula my own name is Brian Handcock, and my friends call me Ballcock which i should be grateful for really, as it could have been a lot worse
Hi Paula. In my line of work I meet all nationalities. Here's a few beauts. Dick Large, Wan Tu, Hu Yu and my personal favourite - Kamil Sak. Heading home from night shift. Pmsl here J
I worked on the Stena Line ship with 2 brothers, Paul Ennis & Alan Ennis. The name badges were made up of your 1st initial and surname, all in capital letters. So we had P ENNIS & A ENNIS... Obviously identified and called Penis & Anus for years.
Morning Paula....as regards names we once had a Science teacher called Mr. Alcock and being in an all boys Christian Brothers school we cruelly nicknamed him Allcock and no balls....sorry about it now, though he was a lovely man......Sean
I knew a fella called Pierce Boyle...nickname Lance
Hi Paula, when we were in Australia years ago, my brother and friend were starting work with a guy called Bosco Ramsbottom, which was his real name. The morning they were to meet him to start job, he pulled up in the truck to pick them up, and my brother Martin couldn't bring himself to say his name, so he just saud “are you the man?” Kevin in Limerick
My mates name is Wheelock. So we call the family the Clamps. Podge
Hi Paula. My sister had a boyfriend surname Cunningham. She nicknamed him SlyBacon. He was really not impressed but we got many a tear filled laugh out of it. P
Morning Paula. I knew a man called Christopher Peacock. Chris Peacock. From Caolá
Morning Paula, Ireland's (rugby player) Geordan Murphy nicknamed Billy Twelvetrees 36. So simple, so hilarious. Andy
Morning Paula. My fave that always makes me smile is the English rugby player Danny Grewcock. Jim in Laois.
Hi, was at a wedding waiting in hotel bar when it was announced over the intercom that patrons attending the “Short /Cox" wedding please make their way to reception
My mother had a friend called Ita Stone (behind her back) they called her "chew a brick" Ann in Marino
Paula, Mr Cockram used to come into the bank when i worked there. Mike
When I was working in the butchers I took a turkey for a John Lightbulbholder. I had to confirm it about 3 times with him! Dave
And my favourite text EVER came from Danny:
I know a Winterbotham that's nicknamed Frosty Arse. Danny
