Or - malapropisms to use the exact definition
The newspapers this morning made for really sad reading – sadness and loss on every page. So listener Ann send this in and it really made me smile:
“Paula, I brought my granny to Lilly’s yesterday... that’s what she calls Lidl. And she still orders a lotto instead of a latte. There’s a bit of cheer on this Monday when the news is so horrible!”
Ann, that definitely made me, and other listeners of The Early Breakfast smile – and they joined in!
- “My sister cannot say Pritt Stik. It’ll always be prick stick!”
- “My little boy has toast for Brexit, Paula!”
- “My dad says laminated instead of marinated – we’ve stopped correcting him as there’s no point!”
- “We're farmers, and there's a breed of cattle called Simmentals. For as long as I can remember, my father has called them Sentimentals” - Shane, Cork
- “The Ilac Centre will always be the Lilac Centre in our house Paula!”
- “My granny used to call an en suite an en sweep!”
- “My mam used to call tampax thumb tacks... ouch!”
- “Hi Paula my aunt used to call Bacardi and Coke McCarthy and Coke - we still don’t know why!” - Debz Dundalk
- “My daughter when she was younger used to call the Phoenix Park the Penis Park.... we still call it that today!”
- “My granny tells every my son is artistic (he’s autistic Paula)”
- “The doctor possessed my granddad (assessed)”
- “My mam always says she’s hijacked instead of jet-lagged”
- “Paula when I was a kid I couldn’t pronounce Elvis Presley properly, I called him Estis Pessley. My siblings still rip the piss over it, and I’m 39 now!” – Shane
- “Hi Paula, my grandmother used to call Elvis Presley LESLIE PRESSLESS” - Jim
- “I work in the courts and we get many, many people in, asking for the forms for their bannister (barrister) so they can repeal (appeal) their case. At this stage we get confused ourselves over the right words!”
- “My mother in law called to say my father in law had an autopsy instead of a biopsy!”
- “Good morning , I asked my nephew how the rugby game was? He told me Leinster dialiated Connacht!”
- “Morning Paula. My Nannie was on the phone one day to someone up the north. When she hung up the phone she turned to me and said he must be from somewhere else I couldn't understand his accident. She meant accent!”
- “Hey Paula, my dad calls a Caesarean section a sectarian section!”
