In case you hadn't noticed, it rained last night.
A lot.
So this morning the traffic in Ireland looked something like this.
Here's what thousands of pissed off commuters experienced as they sat in horrific traffic around the country this morning.
1 'If That F***er Pulls Out In Front Of Me So Help Me God I'm Going To Ram Their Car'
It's every man for themselves on mornings like this morning, but as you inch towards your destination, the sight of some gobshite trying to weasel in between you and the white van in front of you is enough to make you consider doing hard time for your actions.
2 The Red Mist
It starts out fine, you pull out of your estate, you see heavier traffic than normal, but you still have hope, you still believe it will be ok. Fast forward 50 minutes later and you've moved ONE KILOMETRE and The Red Mist has fully taken over. You're shaking hard with anger and your voice is horse from all the screaming at other, equally helpless commuters. The Red Mist also makes you ugly cry and flip the bird every 30 seconds.
3 The Traffic Lights Are Conspiring To Work Against Us
It's a fact, on rainy mornings every single light has one objective, and that's to delay you as much as possible. Red for three minutes, green for four and a half seconds, then back to red before you can even change to poxy first gear.
4 Wishing Bad Things Upon Those Who Risk The Bus Lane
WHY ARE YOU SPECIAL? IF I'M STUCK IN THIS HORRIFIC HELL HOLE THEN YOU SHOULD BE TOO.
(*secretly hopes the guards catch them)
(**hates the fact that you're not brave enough to try it yourself)
5 'Who Voted This Shite Government Into Power Anyway?'
Like seriously? Who is managing this traffic? One drop of rain and the whole country comes to a stand still. WHO IS IN CHARGE?
(*mentally writes Leo Varadkar an expletive filled letter of complaint)
6 The Urge To Just Abandon Your Car Up The Nearest Side Street
The temptation to throw in the towel is overwhelming at times to just walk the rest of the way. You'd arrive soaking wet and pissed off, only to have to make the return journey home one hour later.
7 Oh Dear God The Return Journey
It's not worth it, just head straight to the pub after work and never come out. It will be warm, dry and there wont be a traffic light in sight.
