Pressing the wrong button on the vending machine.
You don’t normally go the vending machine in work. You stay away from it because, it’s full of things you shouldn’t be eating / drinking. But, sometimes, you just NEED a little pick me up and that’s what Mondays are all about. You spend ten minutes rummaging in your coat pocket, bag and drawer for the change and you head off delighted with yourself, already looking forward to your little chocolatey treat. You get carried away, you start talking a colleague, you get distracted and suddenly, you see that little claw handle taking out the wrong bar. THE WRONG BAR. Life ruined.
Having to run for the bus
Nobody should have to run on a Monday morning. It should be outlawed. Illegal. Why can’t the bus just pick you up from the house? Instead, you’ve to puff, pant and sweatily trundle towards the bus stop only, only to miss the bleedin’ thing. Horrific.
Emotional stuff
Why is your Facebook news feed full of heart wrenchingly emotional articles on a Monday morning? You are exceptionally delicate anyway; you can’t even imagine reading this heartbreaking piece about a one legged dog that travelled from Norway on a boat to reach its owner. But you do, and you cry at your desk / in your car / on the train.
Pictures from the weekend
Oh brilliant, you took ten photos of me on the dance floor this weekend. Delighted for you. Am I sweating? Pulling a funny face? Dancing violently? Of course I am. I’m all for photography, just don’t tag me. Don’t tag me. DON’T TAG ME. *Jenny has tagged you in 10 photos*
People
Why is everyone out to get you today? People are talking louder, laughing louder, screaming in your face. They are eating loudly, breathing heavily, walking really slowly, driving badly and asking you too many questions. Just leave me be, okay?
