Singer Grimes Shared Her Workout Regime And It's Suitably Bats

Everyone should have a "sword fighting session"

First off, The Muireann O'Connell show wants to go to Grimes' gym. Like, right now. Book us in.

Mark Wahlberg shocked and amused the world last year when he revealed his bizarre workout schedule which involved waking up at 2.30 am and then going through a rigorous series of tasks thta included, "Time for kids" "Golf" "Shower" "take over the world" etc.

At 2.30am most of us are in the throes of R.E.M. or we're drunkenly negotiating a taxi back to an indoor space.

Well, it looks like Wahlberg has been beaten.

Here's just a taste of what the perfect Grimes workout involves:

"2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions - past, present, and future."

"I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer"

"Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes"

"I've eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer."

We are convinced she HAS to be taking the p*ss but Wahlberg wasn't and Grimes is notably left-field and cuckoo bananas so ...???

Make up your own mind. Here is her original Instagram post:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

ADIDAS: Tell us about ur training regiment ? GRIMES: My training is a 360 approach. I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions - past, present, and future. In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout. I then spend 45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type). I’ve outfitted my studio with the highest grade of red light. It is pretty much 1000 sqf IR Sauna. Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency. I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression. I go to bed with a humidifier on. #asmc #adidasparley #createdwithadidas #gentrifymordor

A post shared by MISS ANTHROPOCENE (@grimes) on Jul 15, 2019 at 4:33pm PDT

Grimes' brand new 'I'm a millennial with too much time on my hands and loads of cash who's completely lost the run of themselves' work out regime is available now.