We all have those mornings. You know the ones. You feel groggy and sluggish, the thoughts of actually being productive seems like a stretch too far. And somehow, on these particular mornings, life works against you and makes your crappy morning even worse.
1) You wake up twelve minutes late.
During your work day, twelve minutes is not a big deal, it’s NOTHING, it’s the time you’d take to wander up and make a cup of tea. In the morning? Different kettle of fish. Twelve minutes is practically a lifetime. If, like me, your morning routine is a finely oiled machine consisting of a minute by minute breakdown (detailed below), this is the beginning of the end for you.
- 2 minutes to get from bed, undressed and into the shower
- 8 minutes in the shower
- 6 minutes to get dried and dressed
- 7 minutes to get hair dried (or at least 75% dry)
- 5 minutes to walk to the bus
- 3 minutes ‘miscellaneous’ to allow for general delays
- 19 minutes on the bus. (TRAFFIC DON’T FAIL ME)
2) Tights acting the maggot
Lads, you may not be familiar with this particular hell, but I’m sure there’s probably an equivalent stress. Whilst in the shower, you mentally go through your wardrobe and pick an outfit that is a) clean and b) not that creased. You are sitting on the edge of the bed, sweating, your wet hair dripping all over the shop and trying to get your feet into your tights. BAM. One wrong move and you’ve laddered the blasted things. Of course then, you have to go rummaging for another pair and can only seem to find pairs with holes and you curse yourself, swearing blind you’ll throw them out so it’ll never happen again. You don’t though.
3) Toothpaste Wars
It’s a given. You’re running late? You’re going to get toothpaste all over yourself. You’ll have to either go at it with a damp facecloth or change. Which option is quicker?
4) Houdini Keys
Why is it that when you are in a blind panic, trying to get out the door in the morning, you are NEVER EVER able to find your keys? It’s like they hide. They know. They want to taunt you. Of course, they do eventually turn up (where you left them), but that little charade could cost you up to four valuable morning minutes.
5) Traffic
Murphy’s Law. You’re late and traffic is INSANE. It’s like all the cars in the country have descended on your road. If you get the bus, you can guarantee that three of them will pass you by full. There won’t be a taxi to be seen and if you drive, you’ll be banging your head off the steering wheel in pure frustration.
*Throw children into that mix and you are SCREWED. They’ll vomit, wee, throw food on you and refuse to wear proper clothing before you get them out the door.
