Starting a new job is difficult. It’s full of socially awkward moments. Don’t worry, we’ve all been the newbie at some stage.
1)For some reason, you forget how to speak properly. Your new co-workers introduce themselves by saying ‘Hello’, you respond hastily with ‘Grand’. Em....they didn’t ask how you were, they said hello.
2) You spend your first 54 minutes simply trying to log into your computer. For some reason, the password you have been given is an impossible code and despite trying every combination possible, you know that one miserable little letter should be a capital and you Just. Can’t. Figure. Out. Which. One. You begin to get paranoid that the I.T crew think you are a thick. Cough. They do.
3) You don’t know where the printer is, so even the most menial of task is impossible. People point towards the other end of the office and you nod but haven’t a clue what they are wittering on about.
4) When you finally do locate the sacred printer, you realise you are never going to be able to operate it and resign yourself to the fact that technology is dying and the written word is the future.
5) Do you eat lunch alone at your desk? Do you wait for an invite from co-workers? Do you go it alone and go out? Yes, you go it alone and basically look like an ignorant git because you go out of your way to make it sound like you have other friends.
6)Your phone seems to only have one mode and that’s speakerphone. The entire office can hear you fail. Brilliant.
