First dates are rarely enjoyable. In fact, they can be downright painful. Obviously, it depends on the two people involved, but...as one of the girls in the office found out over the weekend, they are often a minefield of fidgeting, shifty eyes, clammy palms and awkwardness. How do you avoid the dreaded first date doom? WE’VE GOT IT! Fall in love with one of your friends.
It’s a drastic move, but it really is the most effective way of overcoming this problem. If you fall for a mate, you already know them; you don’t have to ask them about their job, their hopes and dreams or their views on Jagermeister. You already know. In fact, it was Jagermeister that helped your love along. When you start going out with a friend, your first date is actually your 56th date.
It’s worked so well for so many couples in the movies, why shouldn't it work for you?
Friends have seen you at your absolute worst. Remember the time, after Paul and Gill’s wedding? The time you were wearing what appeared to be a sleeping bag. You didn’t feel so good and had to pull over the car to ‘get some air’. Your friend saw you then.
Your friend has witnessed you eat. The ‘I only eat salad’ jig is up. You don’t even need to pretend. Grand. There is nothing worse than trying to tackle food on a first date. You end up eating everything with a knife and fork in a feeble attempt to seem polite, including pizza.
They know what your ‘real’ pajamas look like. When you start dating someone, you need to pretend that you flounce about in slinky silken nightwear or if you are a man, that you wear actual pajama bottoms. No, not this time, bear in mind, your friend has seen you lounge around on the couch in your XXXXL hoody with bleach stains and baggy bottoms. The pretence is over!
Your friends have seen you in all your awful glory. If they are still open to kissing you after all that, you’re onto a winner.
Send a few warning texts out to the top 5 candidates instructing them that they are going to HAVE to fall in love with you. Any good friend would.
PS: Clearly this article is 100% tongue in cheek.
